Tinseltown

Rating

Director

Tony Spiridakis

Screenplay

Tony Spiridakis, Shem Bitterman

Length

1h 25m

Starring

Arye Gross, Joe Pantoliano, Ron Perlman, Kristy Swanson, Tom Wood, John Considine, David Dukes, Nicole Hansen

MPAA Rating

R

Review

PREFACE:
In the early 2000s, I was writing reviews for an outfit called Apollo Guide Reviews. That website has since been closed down.

Attempting to reconstruct those reviews has been an exercise in frustration. Having sent them to Apollo Guide via email on a server I no longer have access to (and which probably doesn’t have records going back that far), my only option was to dig through The Wayback Machine to see if I could find them there. Unfortunately, while I found a number of reviews, a handful of them have disappeared into the ether. At this point, almost two decades later, it is rather unlikely that I will find them again.

Luckily, I was able to locate my original review of this particular film. Please note that I was not doing my own editing at the time, Apollo Guide was. As such, there may be more than your standard number of grammatical and spelling errors in this review. In an attempt to preserve what my style had been like back then, I am not re-editing these reviews, which are presented as-is.

REVIEW:
In Hollywood, it takes courage, conviction and money to make a movie. Two out-of-towners find out what it’s truly like to live and die in Tinseltown.

Arye Gross and Tom Wood play partners Max and Tiger who’ve come to Hollywood to sell their story to a reprehensible producer, Arnie (Joe Pantoliano), who assures them he can sell a “fresh” idea. With nowhere to go, the twosome decides to hole up in Tiger’s self-storage container. Unexpectedly, they discover a community of unsuccessful, yet extremely talented artists living there. These folks prove that success in Hollywood is never guaranteed and even the most talented individual can suffer a grim fate.

The caretaker of the storage facility is also a tenant and an unsuccessful impersonator. Cliff (Ron Perlman) turns out to be a kind, if not psychotic, man who allows the new kids to move in and provides Max and Tiger with their “fresh” idea. Cliff, however, is a spooky fellow, who might just be up to no good. There’s a serial killer on the loose, and might Cliff be the man?

Tinseltown is based on the stage play “Self-Storage,” written by director/screenwriter Tony Spiridakis and his partner, Shem Bitterman. Together they’ve crafted an interesting story with clever pieces of black comedy and loving jabs at Hollywood. Unfortunately, the insightfulness eventually crumbles into hollow meditations on fame and failure in “Tinseltown,” so the film never fully achieves its goal. This is largely due to the excessive twists and turns that eventually suffocate the finale.

Gross has appeared in numerous bizarre films as a similarly neurotic character and does not improve on any of his previous work here. Wood shows some talent, but his character is too banal to make a real impression. Perlman does some excellent impressions, but the rest of his performance simply isn’t believable. Pantoliano is no better than his compatriots, despite his excellence in previous roles. Swanson also has talent, but too often is suckered into portraying bimbos with attitude. Tinseltown is no exception. She plays a film student who wants to make it big as a director, but can’t get past her sexual fetishes.

The weak performances and overly cute twists make Tinseltown a failure, although it does have its merits. Originality seeps through the first hour of the film, focusing on the plight of creative individuals in a town that’s overpopulated with them. Unfortunately, this eventually gives the film an inflated self-importance that derails it with an uninspiring and overly verbose finish.

“Tell the truth and you’ll win.” The serial killer imparts near the end. “Not just as an actor, but as a person.” These are sage words and one of the few lines in the film that is meaningful. No matter who you are, whether you’re searching for a career in Hollywood or being true to yourself, honesty is far more valuable than pretense.

Review Written

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